One of the key psychological advice that prevails in society is that we must respond rather than react. It is one of the key aspects of emotional intelligence. Reaction does refer to just acting on the grounds of what we feel. For instance: when someone is angry, one starts yelling. However, response refers to an informed and logical decision that you make after analyzing the situation. Substitution response with reaction has a widespread effect on our daily lives. It makes a person emotionally intelligent to handle the problems of daily life. How to make such distinctions in these aspects? How to develop this skill? What spheres is it useful? We shall deal with all such issues in this blog. 

The distinction 

Reaction is the action based on emotional arousal that you make. For instance, if someone abuses you, you suddenly start yelling, your breath rate gets high, and you can even kill that person without anticipating the possible circumstances. Also, when someone praises you, you get ready to act as a result of words out of ingratiation. These are the actions that you make based on what you feel. However, this bounds us in contextual terms. We will solely depend on our feelings and other’s behavior for our actions which is surely not a viable source of pathway for development. If you continuously tend to act based on what you feel, anybody can easily enrage you. 

Emotional intelligence suggests a pathway for your emotional development. Here it indicates that we must respond to situations rather than react. One of the preachings of the Upanishads also indicates that we must take revenge one day if we feel so out of anger. The entire context is the same here: after a day the feeling of taking revenge vanishes and we can make informed decisions. Response is the logically correct decision that you make to behave in a certain way. It is not based on what you feel.  

Neethika, one of the social media influencers, mentions a beautiful line, “The feeling angry is okay but yelling is not, missing them is okay but going back to them is not” We must here separate our emotions and behaviour that we make. What we feel is always okay but what we do must be a rational one. 

The significance 

1. Maintains interpersonal relationships: – Sometimes reacting spontaneously can make us regretful in future. This is because when these decisions will lead to the loss of some meaningful relationships as a result of our words it can impact us. Thus, responding helps in maintaining some meaningful relationships. 
2. Makes us more productive: – Making decisions in a state of emotional arousal can catastrophically affect our productivity. Thus, response helps us maintain  the quality of our productivity 
3. Makes us rooted: – Understanding the impact of intensity of our emotions will help us to get connected with our roots and will make us humbler. 
4. Spreads happiness: – when we make informed decisions by responding, it tends to protect our meaningful relationships and thus makes a positive aura around us 
5. Emotional management: – The time we take to respond helps us to regulate our emotions effectively and thus manage them according to context.  

How to execute response mechanism 

1. Take time to make decisions: – We must not make decisions about our behaviour instantly. Especially when we are feeling a particular emotion intensely. Giving time to make our decisions will help us to separate our emotions from them and make a rational decision. 
2. Release tension: – We must focus on our breadth while making decisions. In case our breadth is not normal first we must wait to get it normal. Deep breathing does helps to release the tension. Thus the decisions in neutral state are the most correct ones. 
3. Name your feelings: – You must be able to identify your feelings. Please do name it that will help you to identify how all these feelings are different from each other and how can impact your response mechanism 
4. Be assertive: – You must state the facts clearly. Being assertive and factual is more effective than the responses that we make. 

Thus, in a nutshell, we shall conclude that sometimes just reacting to situations will prove futile and catastrophic for us. It can have certain ramifications that can impact our lives significantly. On the other hand, responding to situations makes us more mature about the content and decisions we make. This can be a source of our maturity. 

References

Freepik images

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/reacting-vs-responding-difficult-conversations-laura#:~:text=Reacting%20is%20an%20instinctive%2C%20emotional,and%20making%20a%20conscious%20decision.

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Genz is now in an era of dating. Where it tends to find a suitable partner for itself. Being a girlfriend or boyfriend seems to be an achievement nowadays. Those who lack any partner are somehow developing an inferiority complex. Having a partner in metro cities, especially in Delhi seems to be so important that dating is a public tradition nowadays. The thing is, how many of them are satisfied with their partner? How many of them get cheated? How many relationships are successful? How much does your love matter if you are a student? In what ways do people prefer to solve various relationship issues? These are some of the questions out of curiosity. The concept of dating and being in a live-in relationship is a Western concept accepted by India. However, dating in India has its unique way. Singles have their problems here.  

How are you choosing your partner?

Nowadays social media apps are very prominent in providing partners. Apps like Tinder, boo, and Bumble are at the forefront to provide matches to you. Moreover, every new application comes with some new features and characters for choosing your partner. Some just choose it by swiping memes and some like to choose based on personality types.   

In offline mode, this is apparent, especially on college campuses. It is very easy to see couples enjoying themselves together in the college gardens. Public proposals are very rare but still apparent. Colleges, metro, and malls are now full of Genz couples who get into a kind of relationship that gets its new name every day. Sleeping on the shoulders of your partner is one of the prominent scenes seen in the metro that makes a huge crowd of singles daydream. But the question here is how successful these Genz couples are in their relationships. 

Another side of the coin

This is a well-acceptable fact that if you see another dimension of the pink side of these relations, the huge number of breakups are also very common. When someone falls deeply for someone it generally tends to develop over-possessiveness. Thereafter one tends to put obtundations and finally, these relationships end in breakups. Thinking of a term like, “break-up party” or “Subh sawere uth ke maine ye sab kar liya” seems to be very lenient in movies. But the actual break-up is not a matter of party. It tends to push a person towards being hopeless. The mental health of any person can easily get distorted when one doesn’t get healthy results out of toxic relationships.  

Thus in a nutshell it will not be wrong to say that Genz is actually in a confusion about whether they should be in a relationship or not. Being in a relationship will tend to push you into the vicious circle of relationships and not going into it will lead you to feel excluded. This then develops very complex relationship strategies such as friends with benefits, which is not at all a very healthy alternative to the problem. It increases the confusion, and possessiveness with your partner and your dignity is vulnerable to getting hampered. 

Are you trapped in any relationship?  

As the aforementioned paragraph described it can be possible that you are in a vicious circle of such relationships. The mistake in the choice of your partner makes you bound to act in a certain way that generally tends to take you away from your real self. This becomes generally apparent in the world of social media. This starts just with a friend request on Instagram and then ends with a breakup or gaslighting someone. People who are very lonely from the inside tend to find multiple relationships for themselves and they already have a goal that they can break up in the future. Thus this thing has come to a point of “time pass” in the era. Believe me, this is not the way that this generation should move.   

If you are facing such issues in your relationship, then you are in a rattrap. You will either find it very easy to get out of a relationship or it will be very difficult for you to get out of there. Both these conditions will make you anxious and it will develop a kind of trust issue within you. This is pushing our generation not to be trustworthy people.   

Do you want a healthy relationship?  

Thus, it becomes very important for us to keep ourselves away from all such clutter in this era. Here are some tips that you must follow if you want a healthy relationship: –  

1. Right choice:

   Please don’t depend only on matching your vibes as this is a very temporary thing that you seek in your partner. Your partner needs to necessarily be completely perfect. Also, it is always not necessary that he/she must agree upon the stance that you like. Try to accept the differences rather than putting boundations and you will find a very fulfilling relationship with your partner  

1. Faith:-

   Once you have made the decision, please never suspect your partner. It is your decision therefore you must have faith in your partner. In India, this is a common proverb that “ Faith is the foundation of any relation” so please maintain it.   

1. Never advise until necessary:

   Remember this is an emotional relationship, not a business one. You are emotionally dependent on your partner thus you must provide some space for making decisions. You must not advise your partner at every step but please try to support whatever decision is being made. This will make your relationship stronger.  

2. Please never think of break up as a solution:

   One of the memes on Instagram that went viral was that a girl had just broken up with her boyfriend because he did not have any flowers on Valentine’s Day. The meme can be hilarious but please control yourself to think of breakup as a solution. If you already decided on a prior basis that you will end up with a breakup, then you will end up.

3. Try to nurture your relationship:

   Remember your relationship is a gift for you. Please give it time and try to nurture it. Remember the fact that your partner rather than being a distraction can be a great support for you  

Thus in a nutshell we can say that there was a reason that marital relations were made permanent in our culture. To have a very healthy relationship, you have to fulfil your duties here. Avoiding cheating on someone else can itself for your life in a very good manner. Remember, expecting someone else better than your partner is just an illusion. 

References

Images- Freepik AI image generator(https://www.freepik.com/)

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Why should you say sorry? 

Are you the one who loves someone so deeply heartedly but can’t say sorry when it’s not your mistake? Or Are you the one who hesitates to accept the mistake even after knowing that it’s your mistake? Are you the one who always finds it difficult to maintain a relationship even when you understand the person very well? Or Are you the one who generally remains angry because of the arrogance of your teacher or boss? Are you a leader who finds it difficult to manage your team’s arrogance? This is the blog which is specially for you. Consider it a gift from my side . 

What does “sorry” refer to? 

From the primary school stage, what is being taught to us is that sorry is a word of apology that we only utter when we have committed a mistake. For instance: If a child breaks a glass, she/he would be told that you must be sorry about it. This is a general definition of this word that is now unanimously accepted.

The foundation is wrong and the provided definition of sorry is just a part of it. Sorry, first there is not a word of apology here as everyone knows. It is used to apologize, and it is possible that grammatically it means an apology. A person who can read between the lines must say that rather than being a word for the apology it is a word that act as evidence that indicates that you value the person more than whatever and whosoever has committed a mistake 

Here the person is in the limelight, not the mistake. This is the fact that we generally forget to teach our children. Whether you have committed a mistake or not, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the person to whom this emotion needs to be conveyed. Thus, the possibility that we must say sorry even when we are not guilty must not be ignored! 

The reason for increasing distance 

Nowadays we can generally observe that whatever the relation is, the density of the relation is not up to expectations. It is true that if any relation exists, being it a personal or professional relation the “ego” is the thing that creates hindrances in making any relationship very deep. Trust issues, suspiciousness, and all other similar things have a deep root in our inability to say sorry thereby increasing the distance between us.

Why is it necessary that I must say sorry when there is my mistake? Why is it necessary that just to value the person and person’s disagreement I can apologize? Remember guys that apology is just a symbol to value the person whom you love or have loved. It does not indicate that you are guilty of a crime that you will be punished for. Learn to say sorry just to maintain the relationship not to admit the mistake.  

It seems an obsolete joke that in a marital relationship only husbands need to say sorry. The reality is if both don’t learn this it is very difficult to nurture a healthy relationship 

Is pen your companion? 

Nowadays writing a written apology is a symbol of showcasing a superiority complex of the person to whom the letter may concern. Believe me, this was not the reason that we have developed this system of written apology. The main reason lies in the fact that if you are hesitant to apologize through your spoken words you can use the written. It was a choice, not a compulsion but because we love to make simpler things complex its meaning gradually changed. It is a time just to change the meanings of some simpler concepts and make it an easy way to go. Life is not about making simpler things complex but complex things simpler.  

Getting angry with a person doesn’t mean you don’t love. 

Sometimes situations may arise where you can disagree with the person whom you love. You can get angry with the person whom you love. But just because you are angry or in disagreement doesn’t mean you don’t love. It’s just a part and you must live it. The time when you will know that sorry is a powerful word you are in the first step of maturity. 

Conflict doesn’t mean you don’t care about someone you love. Anger, frustration, and disagreement are normal in relationships. They show how deep and complex your bond is. Working through disagreements can make your relationship stronger. Trust, communication, and respect can all grow when you handle conflict well. 

Apologizing after a fight shows you’re mature. It proves you care about the other person’s feelings and the relationship. Don’t be upset by arguments. They can help you learn and connect. Saying “sorry” can show your love and respect. It’s a sign of maturity and can make your bond even stronger.  

Learn to say sorry  

Apologizing can seem weak to some, but it’s a sign of strength. It takes courage to say sorry, putting relationships above pride. Not apologizing can harm relationships and hinder personal growth. By saying sorry, we learn from our mistakes and grow. 

In a fast-paced world, sincere apologies are rare but powerful. They can heal wounds and build trust. A genuine ‘sorry’ shows empathy, understanding, and a desire to make things right. It fosters deeper connections and a culture of forgiveness. Remember that we all are humans and it is human to commit mistake  

Next time you hesitate to apologize, think about the other person’s feelings. Saying sorry isn’t just fixing a mistake, it’s about caring for relationships and being humble. By apologizing, you build stronger connections and grow as a person. Please value the person whom you love. Value your colleagues. Try to empathize with the person and I promise you will not only grow as a person, but also people will like you. 

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From big palaces to impromptu places, from bars to rooftop cafes, this ‘dil walo ki dilli’ has in store everything for you to make your dating experience as one of the most fascinating experiences of your life. Here is a list of some places in Delhi NCR that will take your dating experience to the next level, as these places are meant only for couples and you will just fall in love with the ambience.  Indeed theses places are filled with kind of vibes that will make you fall more for each other.

1) PARIKRAMA

Parikrama or the revolving restaurant is located at a height of 240 ft, just imagine the kind of experience you will have after sitting at this altitude with your loved ones, you will just be carried away with the lovely view it has. It offers various cuisines such as Chinese, north Indian and Mediterranean cuisines and will not be very hefty on your pocket as meal for two costs around Rs 2000 only.

Location:  22, Antriksh Bhavan, Kasturaba Gandhi Marg, Connaught Place, New Delhi-01

2) LODI- The Garden Restaurant

We all know what role a flower play in any relationship, as most of the girls just love roses. So if you are looking for any place surrounded by flowers, then this is going to be an ideal place for you. Enjoying the meal amidst the floral setting will make your evening more romantic and this restaurant just offers almost all types of cuisines such as Mediterranean, Mughlai, Continental and European. So have the experience of this restaurant as fast as you can since meal for two will cost you around rs.2000 only.

Location: Opposite Mausam Bhawan, Near Gate No 1, Lodhi Road, New Delhi-03

3) IMPERFECTO

If you are a kind of couple who loves to try out different ambiences then definitely you are going to love this. With historical and musical tapestries, scooter hanging on the wall and totally mismatched furniture you are just going to fall in love with eccentricity of this place. The cuisines on offer are Italian, Continental, Spanish and Mediterranean. Meal for two comes for around rs.1500 only.

Location: Shop No. 1A/1, Hauz Khas Village, New Delhi-16.

4) Le Crique

If you are looking for an exotic experience then Le Crique is going to be a nice choice for you. Classic Italian and contemporary French cuisines are its specialties. A meal for two costs approximately Rs. 8000 to Rs. 10,000.

Location: The Leela Palace, Tenth Floor, Diplomatic Enclave, Chanakyapuri, New Delhi-21

5) Sevilla- The Claridges

With beautiful trees, flowing water and open ambience, Sevilla is going to be an awesome place for your date. The cost is on a higher side with meal for two will be around rs.5000 only.

Location: The Claridges, 12, Near Lodhi Road, Aurangzeb Road, New Delhi-03

6) On The Waterfront

In this hot summer to cool you from inside, this place offers the best romantic ambiance. This place has a very special aura surrounding it, with kind of romantic vibes attracting you from all the sides. The cuisines offered are Pan Asian, European, oriental and north Indian. A meal for two will cost you around rs.3000 only.

Location: The Lodhi, Lodhi Road, New Delhi -03

7) Tonino

This Tuscan themed restaurant has everything going for it as far a couples are concerned-paved walkways. Pink-washed walls, a mosaic courtyard and green foliage-enough to bring the aura of an Italian city within this gated property. The cuisine, of course, is Italian and a meal for two will cost you approximately Rs. 2000.

Location: 76/27, Near Andheria More, Mehrauli, New Delhi-30

8) Satya Niketan

If you have ever been to this place then you will know that satya niketan has a row of cafes where you can have every type of cuisine that you wish for, and a set of varied ambiences ranging from roof top cafes to lounges, bars and an array of mouth watering street foods. Some of the top cafes of this place with delicious food and reasonable prices include Echoes, Amigos, Woodbox café, Dockyard and Hera Pheri café.

Location: opposite Venkateshwara college, near South Campus, University of Delhi

Rishabh Jain
Content Writer – DU Times

The post Fine Dines In Delhi NCR For Your Date appeared first on DU Times.

Obviously there are various relationships in our surroundings that may appeal to people and hence play as a major motivation for people to have such identically ideal relationships. People tend to like certain features from another relationship and may wish to have the same sort of expectations delivered in their own relationships as well.
But these ideals are not just built by the appealing relationships of our surrounding, these ideals are majorly built on our self-interest.
Yes, people tend to idealize a person, a partner and a bond in a relationship which isn’t just an imitation of others but evident of our very own vested interests. Although, it’s not that people don’t endeavour from their own side to make their relationships or the way they idealize but amidst everything lies the self-interest which drives people to paint a rosy picture of a perfect relationship so that their lives get to a comfort level which they have always been craving for.
From the love and affection to the very materialistic things, people tend to idealize a partner who is well capable of channelizing their self-interest. And if such ideal relationships don’t seem to happen in practical lives of people, this will be the breaking point where problems occur in their relationships.

People driven by their high ideal expectations, resist the acceptance of the reality of their existing relationships and open themselves to the path of conflicts and frustrations which ultimately leads to vulnerable relationships.
Thus, ideals of relationships which are built on self-interest cannot bear good fruits at the end.
So it’s better, ‘either to expect nothing out of a relationship, or to accept what you get’. Simply put, we come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

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